Monday, 23 July 2012

The Idea Behind Open Relationships

Whether we are in a relationship or not, it is safe to say that most of us have at least wondered about open relationships once in a while. It mainly describes the kind of relationship where one has a stable partner but is allowed to date and sleep with others as well. Lured in by the idea, many have had the urge to give open relationships a try. Among them, few actually dare to, and even fewer can make it last.

Let’s be honest - there are mostly two kinds of views regarding this type of relationships. Either people are intrigued by it and they want to see if it works for them; or they look down upon it as something only the perverted and overtly promiscuous people do. After all, what is the point of being with someone if you need to be with other people as well?

Truth is, open relationships are for a select few with a completely unique mindset. You don’t need bravado to try it out; you need to be completely secure about the strength of your bond with your partner. For most of us, the thought of partners sleeping with somebody else would take our night’s sleep away. Am I not enough to keep him/her happy? Will he/she leave me for that other person whom they are dating? There’s a big chance these questions would haunt you if you are not fit for an open relationship. So, how do you know if such relationships are your cup of tea or not? The trick to learn the answer lies in getting to know the idea behind open relationships and learning why you are interested in trying them out.

The promise of being in a stable relationship and still not remain restricted to one sexual partner is a draw for many. But what you have to remember is that, just as you are sleeping with others, so can your partner. Mostly, and I’m not trying to be a feminist here, men have a very hard time dealing with the fact that their girlfriends are also allowed to have sex with others. In fact this is why most of them back out from such relationships.

Moreover, what most fail to realise is that open relationships do not give you a license to do just what you feel like doing. There are some boundaries and limits that you have to respect in any relationship and this one is no exception. However, I’ll admit that it is hard to define exactly what you are allowed to do and what you are not. A relationship is defined and made their own by the two people who are in it. In an open relationship too, you have to talk to your partner and find out what exactly you are comfortable with.                    

I suppose it just comes down to the fact that open relationships are not all fun and games. Like any other relationship, you have to work very hard in order to keep your ties with your partner strong. So don’t opt for one thinking that it will be easy. For all those people who look down upon the ones in open relationships, don’t. What they do is something very few can pull off effectively.

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